Connected to another universe, is something I truly believe in. A huge part of my self care is dialing into core pieces of what makes up me! When I first discovered I had a gift I didn’t embark on the trials of dialogue one would normally partake in to give thought life. Instead I kept these “thoughts or ideas” within. After focusing on the event, circumstances and situations that played out time and again I finally told my best friend Brett at the time what I experience.
At the time I was about 15 maybe and I was babysitting in my best friends apartment building. As I was sitting there, random thoughts crossed my mind wondering if the couple I babysit for are married. Also is this child his child or hers? A call came through about an hour or so later from the Mrs, and she was over the moon with excitement she had just been proposed too by the Mr. and he wanted to adopt the child! ( they were going to be late) How ultimately bizarre the what I used to call coincidence and I now refer to as God Shots.
Point being I could feel it, and I mean truly empath the fuck out of auras of people. I’ve long thought to be a Gypsy or also referred to way back when as Romani people: Many depictions of Romani people in literature and art present romanticized narratives of mystical powers of fortune telling or irascible or passionate temper paired with an indomitable love of freedom and a habit of criminality. ( Wikipedia)
Am I? I often wonder…..
That wonder and exuberant thought plays out in this universe and it pairs when I slumber. When I was again around the age 15 I theorized that our dreams were reality and this reality was our dream sequence. Now I believe in connecting the two. Though the grateful gift serves a plenty when summoned I can get overwhelmed with the sensations that I near collapse in emotion. True story folks.
As an example there is this place of work I am affiliated with and when I was in this building I could sense many things before they occurred. This happened daily. Some days I could predict the entire day and not out of pattern but out of this sense that draws power from me. As they say an empath can extinguish from the heart beat. It truly all depends on the individual I am around or place and or event circumstance.
“What the hell is purpose? Why does it matter? Where are we going? Why are we here?
I can’t feel my legs.
Purpose is a concept that’s often misunderstood. I get a lot of emails about purpose—about finding a calling, about finding a greater sense of meaning in life.” Mark Manson
I have to admit I adore Mark Manson and his work! So when I read this I instantly think wow all this time I wonder, I decipher if the gypsy in me is real. I can’t feel my legs is an understatement of half my existence ego and pride. The stilts I was gifted often go without weight.
Gifted I was and purpose I gained. Over empowering sense of hearing, taste and smell.
I also have an intriguing sensory processing issue, sensitivity or tactile defensive disorder! This adds to my uniqueness I reckon. For example String, wool, cotton fabric of any kind accompanied by mouth orientation makes me queezy I get instantly nauseous and could almost feel the fabrics in my body hairs reacting. I also tend to not like cutting my nails or touching things full finger or hand on. I do have a compulsive hand washing concern too! After reseacrhing a bit more about my gypsy uniqueness in defeating self care to the max and boosting my esteem I could relate to these areas as well:
Symptoms of sensory processing disorder
Think clothing feels too scratchy or itchy.
Think lights seem too bright.
Think sounds seem too loud.
Think soft touches feel too hard.
Experience food textures make them gag.
Have poor balance or seem clumsy.
Are afraid to play on the swings.
Somehow these are all connected to my connectivity to surroundings. Finding a Higher Power was more difficult than connecting to another lost soul to be honest. I speak of SHINE a lot in my socials and life in general and this refers to a Devine light I can see in another’s eyes. I swear I can feel the gift of guidance in them. No matter the trail they walk, if they got SHINE as I put it, then they got the gift. Yes a gift of the universe a gift of the Romani.
Lately I can’t feel my legs! I have been envisioning debilitating mobility for self through dreams. Recurring connections of losing the ability to walk far, long or tedious trails. I am unsure why this is happening, but I’m certain that my health issues are not over. Potentially more leg issues may arise that have all but been silenced predators.
Repetitive Scenarios a timeless spin. Actors a plenty, though none may imagine.
Expected climax, without justification ensues. Oh how sometimes I dread this gift of imagination and empathy far beyond my genetic time on Olympia.
Thanks for reading. Please comment and or sign into my site. It’s all free. I will be doing a draw on July 15/22 for a $100 bath and body works gift card for some serious self care self love and awareness rewards! 🤙