WARNING EXPLICIT
When I was younger I chased friends. I became what people wanted me to become to the detriment of myself.
You see I didn’t have lots of friends as a younger me, I had a group of six or so friends in the small town I grew up in. Then the family moved here and I was gifted one true best friend, whom I still have to this day fortunately.
Late teens I discovered how to attract men by giving up my body. I believe I lost my male virginity in the back of red sports car in the middle of the woods. The guy was big and muscular smoked Dumarier cigarettes and ripped my ass hole. Also in my teens I lost my female virginity with the last time being also in a vehicle.
The popularity I had was by being someone else always. I’ve had numerous friend groups. As I look back and even how this whole #blog even occurred was because I constantly tell people to Love themselves FIRST it took me over thirty YES over thirty years to actually love myself!
I’ve had some loves over my time and I’m only half way through my life HA I can imagine what’s to come.
Chasing people, is ironic for me because I’ve done it for so long. However one song that connects me to one of my great loves was by Snow Patrol Chasing Cars. Did I ever chase him too haha
I chased them all, and I’ve been hurt over and over and over again. Today I love myself enough to not chase. Nor do I want to be fucking chased either.
If love happens, if relationships occur it’ll be natural and it will be rewarding. I need no one but myself for a happy life!