Time became both a friend and enemy. My intuition was was screaming but I couldn’t hear the words. Four walls locked doors and personal dictating what my day would look like.
I have to experience in full, all that my body was going through. Constantly sick and medicated minutes felt like a never ending high which kept me paralyzed! I cried nightly and felt loss so incredibly deep that an emotion such like this was foreign to me. No one was coming to save me, I had to do this alone. So then I had to exercise, socialize, art therapy, therapy therapy 😒 smell the flowers literally in the gardens. the aloneness was forced in daily activity. The point is I had to endure all the feelings that I was having and there was no escape. I had no choice this was a forced intervention and my will wasn’t my own. I just didn’t know this at the time.
“One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.” Fredrick Nietzsche