The moments we go through can be all to real at times.
Profound I know, lol!
I got caught up in real time today and took a step back to fully embrace the unique minutes that passed.
I attended a funeral for a client today. He was cremated and I've never fully seen this event happen live.
I have been a worker for his brother for close to five years and took on this client only six months ago. At the first meeting I instantly knew the two men were related. Not just because of their shared surname; but because of their shared uniqueness!
Each fellow shared the same quirks, smiles and laugh. Both were saddened souls trapped in their darkness of what life made of them. Each is a human who deserves to be loved!
Both will remain alone.
Unfortunately substance use disorder embraces them in similar fashion. This brother though shared more with me during his final days than the one I've worked with longer. Through utter terror and agonizing pain, he described his course. His obstacle course he ran through. Alley ways of his spectrum as I view it.
Each brother sees the world through a similar lens. Both have blue eyes with a dreamer stoic glare of wonder to them! Both have passion.
Both remain laughless.
The brother I hugged as the final poem was being read, shared no grief. Not a single tear. Reminiscent of shared tinkering ways and of father and absent mother of long ago. Pain!
We all take our name and we own our name. Forever!
Released back onto the earth from which we come. Aroma of fall crept up on the air in the final moments. Planes in full view hovered above heading to the extremely close airport! Causes quite the show as though he was getting a salute before burial.
I thought of how this would be if it were my brother and I in this scenario? Would he have no tears? I know I would, but would he? We share nothing of likening. No wait we both are movie buffs. But that's it I reckon. Would he stand there and barely touch my coffin? Would he blankly stare as his brother got lowered down into the hole? Would he walk away barely lasting 30 minutes?
Would he be the only one there?
Moments that become all related in seconds of time!
Real time.
I walked the brother back to his ride, wished him the best and congratulations were given on new found sobriety. It had been 2 years and I didn't know this! How close did I pay attention? Why didn't I know this! Fuck I felt bad enough and then I wished him a drink.
Substance use. A soap opera all in itself! Death and the mere moments we have before we meet the maker. Our makers are each unique to us! Our family is all we got!
Addiction doesn't need to end like this all the time!!! We do so slow but surely stay on the road the red road of recovery.
A circular hole barely three feet deep. A copper pot was all that remained of the clever witted brother id only just gotten to know.
A tale of tall reminders of my own reality and relationships.
Profound I know!