It’s truly something when during meetings with folks how A-HA moments occur! I’m finding lately that these moments are far from a far and few between. There’s one of my places where I practice that exceptionally que the art from.
Today was another brilliant day!
As I’m interviewing a client we get talking about the realism of why we drink. Why? Does the drink or substance choose us? Do we ultimately seek this? Is it destined to be and why the fuck can we not just #stop! each answer to that differs. There is no right or wrong. I shared some back story and from my own story he said “that’s my story!” Honestly I have t had this happen all to often in this career. We shared more together. One of the things, and jump in if YOU can relate
is the culture that comes from working in the nightlife industry. It’s something unexplainable and only understood by those who’ve walked that mile. There is no regular 9-5. There are no regular weekends. There is no hobbies really. The friends you make are the people you spend hours and hours with daily. They become much like a family. Since you work all night there isn’t a nightlife to go too, you’re in your nightlife! So you play together and that usually entails drinking after hours and getting to bed in the wee hours of the AM. Our days start at 2,3 or 4 pm.
I used to always hear get a NORMAL job. Or now I hear that’s not NORMAL. What is NORMAL? And fuck you if you say that btw.
Anyway this client fully understood me, he was me just older. The man was in his 60’s but the drink pickled him good. Some of us alcoholics look fine as wine at our age and that a bonus I reckon. 😂
So I asked him what would the Monday look like for him when he walks out of treatment in the future? His response was I’d have to make the night right, go to a meeting talk to a friend maybe have some dinner not in a bar. I paused speech, and looked into his glare. He didn’t get it he wasn’t following my direction of thought.
i loved that!! Moments like this get my juices flowing folks like you can’t even imagine. I said listen to what you just said. I haven’t heard someone out right say THAT before I told him. He still didn’t get it…
Id have to make the night right!
I said what about the day? Remember people places and things all need to be altered. What would you do with the day? He had no idea? Why, because even I didn’t think of the day cause the day never existed. It didn’t exist then and it doesn’t exist in our imagination of toletsnce for tomorrow. I went on to explain that the tools we learn are more then communicating, relapse prevention or boundaries etc. the tools we gain are excitement, other people, conversation in fact WE MAKE PLANS! We are not alone any more. He grasped this and I believe he was slightly shocked. He said to me “You never wanted to drink again? What made you wanna go to school when you never wanted to do so again?” ( we talked about how school came to be in my late thirties) I explained I didn’t have the answer fully, and the road I took was drafted for me out of the ‘others’ surrounding me. The choices came out of love and guidance from strangers. I never wanted to drink again I said because of this moment in which YOU may be in right now dude. The moment of IM DONE & I NEED HELP! I seen that in him, he I believe was finally at his bottom. He shook my hand and we planned to chat next session. I wished him a good night but before he left I tried to answer his question again…..
I felt as i couldn’t help people who didn’t want to be helped. I am here today because I believe there is help in everyone and faith guides me. Moments like this are truly brilliant and I am so honoured he chose to share with me on this day!
Today was a brilliant day. 🧜🏼♂️